Some random stuff

Feeling irritated about my own inability.

I want to travel. I want to lose myself. I have done that before, alone, only once, but spectacularly, against all predictions, losing myself, growing myself, for five days. I traveled across Tamil nadu, from Chennai to Rameshwaram and then to Kerala, a journey that I will cherish till death. I feel so proud thinking about it. I even made small notes of it during the journey, in a small diary.

But now, I have the opportunity of my lifetime. I am at one of the most beautiful places in Europe - France, and Italy and Switzerland being less than two hours away. Yet I havent had the courage to venture out of my small town even. I occasionally feel motivated, but things die down when I get to the planning stage, ticket prices being the main bottleneck. If I have to do some traveling, I need to book tickets months in advance, so that I can travel at reasonable rates. But of course I am unable to plan in advance somehow. I am just not able to decide where, when. Suddenly I have the itch to travel to Istanbul or Syria (influenced by a politically addict classmate). But obviously that aint gonna work out easily, its not in Schengen states (so need separate visa), and of course it will be much easier to plan a long trip to Istanbul, than taking a train there and back. And of course I havent read My Name is Read, or Istanbul, yet. (I so adore Pamuk). The next options that come to my mind is Russia, and eastern Europe, because of the political connection. This also suffers from similar problems.

I dont feel like visiting the beautiful places in France or Switzerland alone.

Also, unlike the TN trip, which was largely motivated by K. Tayatt's book "Katha urangunna vazhiyiloode", in which the author, an old man, a primary school teacher, visited all of South India, alone, backpacking (i.e a bhaandam :D), on a shoestring (I dont know if he had sandals, even). The ambiance of the book left lasting impressions on me, and it was easy to take the plunge. But now, I dont have such an "immediate" inspiration. "Go See the world" is so oft heard, yet the world sometimes feel so small these days (and yet a book by Tayatt threw me to a wholly unknown land, in my own turf).

But I want to travel. Alone. In trains. Then hitchhike. Take pictures, thoughtfully, as much as I want (that give me so much satisfaction, though no one else may like it :D). Be brave; not being afraid of unknown lands, languages, people.

Lets see.